The past few weeks have been an absolute roller coaster. Luckily I feel as if God has buckled me safely in for the ride and promised me not to let the cart crash.
Two weeks ago I set out with two aunts, my mom and my grandma to Colorado. It was a great trip and I really thought all it would be was a nice escape before heading back to school for my final year of Nursing school. I had no idea that God would use the time in the mountains and with my family away from the craziness of my life to really grab a hold of me and not let go. ( In reality I didn't let him go this time)
I recently started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a great book and I went out and finally bought it about a month and a half ago. You see about three years ago I went on a missions trip with my High school youth group out to Montana. While out there I was on the Evangelical team and we were driving all around the country side praying and helping out with different things. When we were stopping in one small town we noticed a big group of people setting up an event in a city park. When we went over to check it out we realized it was another youth group from Washington who had been there all week and ministering to the youth through the book "Crazy Love". That was the first time I encountered this; if i may say it, 'radical' book.
Over the past few years I have thought about reading it. And honestly the part of me that was keeping myself from buying it was that if I did in fact read it, that I would then be held accountable for what I read. I would need to make a change... or I would feel that I would need to; because of the impact it had had on the youth from Washington.
Well I started reading the book this July. I was finally ready. I was tired of trying to figure out exactly how to make myself happy and I wanted to finally connect fully with the one I supposedly put all my trust in.
When I went in to buy the book the lady who sold it to me said that it was a phenomenal book and that I would absolutely love it. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She told me as I was walking out the door that she could tell I had the Joy of the Lord in me. And you know what... I really feel like that day I did. I was finally ready to surrender everything I had to pick up my cross and carry it along side Jesus.
Through that book I was able to discover exactly how 'lukewarm' I had been for the past few years of my life. I finally believe I have the hope of eternal life in my heart, and a love for God that words can not describe. Our God is such an amazing God. To think that for the past 19 years of my life I wasn't experiencing this peace of just trusting him is unbelievable.
I am entering into my Senior year of nursing in about a week. I can't believe God has blessed me with so many things I do not deserve. What an amazing, loving, and merciful God we have.
I am so excited to develop my relationship with my Savior. And as weird as it sounds I am looking forward to seeing exactly how I am able to tackle not being able to see where he is going with something. I love trusting him that much. It's truly a blessing for me.
