That's what I'm doing. I'm searching for the calm in this crazy storm of life that I am once again a part of here in Duluth. So many things have changed over this summer that coming back to school I was nervous about being back with everyone who was use to how I interacted with people and the me that was here last May.
The truth is I'm not that girl. God has opened my heart to more things this summer than I ever really thought could be possible. The moment I walked into my apartment I went through my closet and sorted out clothes and shoes that I was going to donate. I don't want to be the old me who needs the materialistic things of this world. I was blessed in that I have the ability to afford things that I need and a few things that I want. I am so happy and feel joy in my heart when I am able to donate to people that are in need.
I am still nervous about all the changes that have taken place in my life. It's not that I fear I am making a mistake, but that it will be hard for me to not be accepted by people in my life because I share different beliefs or feelings towards things. I am a girl full of energy and I am wondering what they will think when I don't laugh at some of their jokes or I don't find entertainment in listening to disrespectful music.
One of the main reasons for this post is to just get it off my chest about how I'm feeling; Staying calm in the storm... Last year I over loaded my plate with things and activities to spice up my resume. I felt like I somehow gained respect from people if I was involved in many things on campus and I lived a busy life and was somehow able to handle myself and appear stress free.
Coming back to school really hit me hard as I know now that being in all the activities was not conducive to where I feel God leading me. But the truth of the matter is I made a commitment to hold office in clubs and to take part in both tennis and choir and be a leader in both. Right now through God's grace and mercy I am able to see that right now I am needing to cling to him. I made a choice and now we are going to get through it together. I feel that come December when things change up for the next semester I am going to clear my plate being God led. I have the oppurtunity now to interact with many people in these groups and once again hopefully shine through the love of Christ. Not to make myself look better but to make his love evident. It's amazing how God can take a life and turn it around at any given second.
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