That's what I'm doing. I'm searching for the calm in this crazy storm of life that I am once again a part of here in Duluth. So many things have changed over this summer that coming back to school I was nervous about being back with everyone who was use to how I interacted with people and the me that was here last May.
The truth is I'm not that girl. God has opened my heart to more things this summer than I ever really thought could be possible. The moment I walked into my apartment I went through my closet and sorted out clothes and shoes that I was going to donate. I don't want to be the old me who needs the materialistic things of this world. I was blessed in that I have the ability to afford things that I need and a few things that I want. I am so happy and feel joy in my heart when I am able to donate to people that are in need.
I am still nervous about all the changes that have taken place in my life. It's not that I fear I am making a mistake, but that it will be hard for me to not be accepted by people in my life because I share different beliefs or feelings towards things. I am a girl full of energy and I am wondering what they will think when I don't laugh at some of their jokes or I don't find entertainment in listening to disrespectful music.
One of the main reasons for this post is to just get it off my chest about how I'm feeling; Staying calm in the storm... Last year I over loaded my plate with things and activities to spice up my resume. I felt like I somehow gained respect from people if I was involved in many things on campus and I lived a busy life and was somehow able to handle myself and appear stress free.
Coming back to school really hit me hard as I know now that being in all the activities was not conducive to where I feel God leading me. But the truth of the matter is I made a commitment to hold office in clubs and to take part in both tennis and choir and be a leader in both. Right now through God's grace and mercy I am able to see that right now I am needing to cling to him. I made a choice and now we are going to get through it together. I feel that come December when things change up for the next semester I am going to clear my plate being God led. I have the oppurtunity now to interact with many people in these groups and once again hopefully shine through the love of Christ. Not to make myself look better but to make his love evident. It's amazing how God can take a life and turn it around at any given second.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Monday, August 27, 2012
A time of Change
The past few weeks have been an absolute roller coaster. Luckily I feel as if God has buckled me safely in for the ride and promised me not to let the cart crash.
Two weeks ago I set out with two aunts, my mom and my grandma to Colorado. It was a great trip and I really thought all it would be was a nice escape before heading back to school for my final year of Nursing school. I had no idea that God would use the time in the mountains and with my family away from the craziness of my life to really grab a hold of me and not let go. ( In reality I didn't let him go this time)
I recently started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a great book and I went out and finally bought it about a month and a half ago. You see about three years ago I went on a missions trip with my High school youth group out to Montana. While out there I was on the Evangelical team and we were driving all around the country side praying and helping out with different things. When we were stopping in one small town we noticed a big group of people setting up an event in a city park. When we went over to check it out we realized it was another youth group from Washington who had been there all week and ministering to the youth through the book "Crazy Love". That was the first time I encountered this; if i may say it, 'radical' book.
Over the past few years I have thought about reading it. And honestly the part of me that was keeping myself from buying it was that if I did in fact read it, that I would then be held accountable for what I read. I would need to make a change... or I would feel that I would need to; because of the impact it had had on the youth from Washington.
Well I started reading the book this July. I was finally ready. I was tired of trying to figure out exactly how to make myself happy and I wanted to finally connect fully with the one I supposedly put all my trust in.
When I went in to buy the book the lady who sold it to me said that it was a phenomenal book and that I would absolutely love it. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She told me as I was walking out the door that she could tell I had the Joy of the Lord in me. And you know what... I really feel like that day I did. I was finally ready to surrender everything I had to pick up my cross and carry it along side Jesus.
Through that book I was able to discover exactly how 'lukewarm' I had been for the past few years of my life. I finally believe I have the hope of eternal life in my heart, and a love for God that words can not describe. Our God is such an amazing God. To think that for the past 19 years of my life I wasn't experiencing this peace of just trusting him is unbelievable.
I am entering into my Senior year of nursing in about a week. I can't believe God has blessed me with so many things I do not deserve. What an amazing, loving, and merciful God we have.
I am so excited to develop my relationship with my Savior. And as weird as it sounds I am looking forward to seeing exactly how I am able to tackle not being able to see where he is going with something. I love trusting him that much. It's truly a blessing for me.
Two weeks ago I set out with two aunts, my mom and my grandma to Colorado. It was a great trip and I really thought all it would be was a nice escape before heading back to school for my final year of Nursing school. I had no idea that God would use the time in the mountains and with my family away from the craziness of my life to really grab a hold of me and not let go. ( In reality I didn't let him go this time)
I recently started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is a great book and I went out and finally bought it about a month and a half ago. You see about three years ago I went on a missions trip with my High school youth group out to Montana. While out there I was on the Evangelical team and we were driving all around the country side praying and helping out with different things. When we were stopping in one small town we noticed a big group of people setting up an event in a city park. When we went over to check it out we realized it was another youth group from Washington who had been there all week and ministering to the youth through the book "Crazy Love". That was the first time I encountered this; if i may say it, 'radical' book.
Over the past few years I have thought about reading it. And honestly the part of me that was keeping myself from buying it was that if I did in fact read it, that I would then be held accountable for what I read. I would need to make a change... or I would feel that I would need to; because of the impact it had had on the youth from Washington.
Well I started reading the book this July. I was finally ready. I was tired of trying to figure out exactly how to make myself happy and I wanted to finally connect fully with the one I supposedly put all my trust in.
When I went in to buy the book the lady who sold it to me said that it was a phenomenal book and that I would absolutely love it. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She told me as I was walking out the door that she could tell I had the Joy of the Lord in me. And you know what... I really feel like that day I did. I was finally ready to surrender everything I had to pick up my cross and carry it along side Jesus.
Through that book I was able to discover exactly how 'lukewarm' I had been for the past few years of my life. I finally believe I have the hope of eternal life in my heart, and a love for God that words can not describe. Our God is such an amazing God. To think that for the past 19 years of my life I wasn't experiencing this peace of just trusting him is unbelievable.
I am entering into my Senior year of nursing in about a week. I can't believe God has blessed me with so many things I do not deserve. What an amazing, loving, and merciful God we have.
I am so excited to develop my relationship with my Savior. And as weird as it sounds I am looking forward to seeing exactly how I am able to tackle not being able to see where he is going with something. I love trusting him that much. It's truly a blessing for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)