A little song for your beautiful fall afternoon!

I sing...
It was not until recently that I began singing in church and at events because before I was so scared to let other's hear my voice. Only through God do I have the ability to share a gift he has given me.
This song that I'm posting is called

Not for a Moment (After All) by Meredith Andrews

The lyrics to this song are amazing and show of God's unwavering love for us. How he never leaves us in our time of need and even when we feel the darkness of this world consuming us.
I play it many times when I need to know that although I am walking on this earth I am never alone and he will never for sake me. I hope you enjoy and if you like the  song you are able to buy the original on Itunes under Meredith Andrews!

Lyrics:

You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water,

Even when I could not see.

In the middle of it all, when I thought you were a thousand miles away.

Not for a moment, did You forsake me.

Not for a moment, did You forsake me.

After all, You are constant.

After all, You are only good.

After all, You are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise.

Even when I could not hear.

I was held in Your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show,

Not for a moment did You forsake me.

After all, You are constant.

After all, You are only good.

After all, You are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

And every step, every breath You are there.

Every tear, every cry, every breath.

In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Even in the dark, even when it's hard

You will never leave me

After all

After all, You are constant.

After all, You are only good.

After all, You are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Cleanse me Lord...

{fall is now officially here.}

it might just be the changing of the seasons that seems to really symbolize the change that is happening in my life. for many years I have always wanted to embark on the "set-apart" life, and finally it is happening.
It seems only crazy not to set apart my life for God when he died to give me mine 2000 years ago. Waking up each morning and longing to spend time with God in his word is something I have not grown use to. When ever I walk past my open Bible I just want to sit down and get lost in his word. I never believed people who said they daily spend time with God and in his word. I would always wonder what it felt like to have that longing and to actually enjoy the time spent reading and praying.

call me weird, call me crazy. 

this relationship that is growing between me and my savior feels very similar to the ones I have developed down here on earth with my other relationships. 

It started out slow... I spent about 30-45 mins in his word and praying a day.

then before I knew it, as a busy senior nursing student i was getting into bed at 9:00pm just to spend an hour with {jesus} my new "person" of interest. 

now i find myself planning to go to bed at 9:00pm and get up 1 hour earlier to spend time with him so that i can start my day out to a positive godly start.
it's going on 7 months of being single here, with no technical boyfriend. honestly my heart was never available to God to take control and for me to fall madly in love with. it wasn't until i chose him to be my final love interest that i realized how extravagant his love really is. 

i sat here reflecting today, praying my heart out for him to hear me and to speak to me, it wasn't until just now that i realized i was rushing things with my relationship with him. i am not grown enough to know the difference between his voice and my voice telling me what to do. 

with every day passing i am falling more and more in love with him. 

the longing of my heart is pointing towards him 

when i go out into this world i can sense where i have not lived the life he has dreamed up for me. 

it's a gentle pull at my heart when he pauses my life for a second so i can reflect. 

this time in my life, this season, is for change; for him to come into my heart and cleanse me of all my past mistakes and actions. he does it willingly and finally... i am giving my life to him {willingly}.

"search me oGod, and know my heart; 

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

see if there is any offensive way in me, 

and lead me in the way everlasting."

{psalm 39:23}

{God's Love}

" I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you" 

- John 14.18

 " Therefore I tell you do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than clothes. Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them." 

 - Matthew 6.25

Two verses that are about our heavenly father taking care of us. One of my biggest struggles has been fully trusting in God to take care of me. I like to plan my life out perfectly, envision nothing but the best. What comes with that is a lot of stress. I can't help but think to myself, "What happens if this doesn't happen?", "What will happen if I can't afford to pay for this or that."

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." Another verse that goes right along with these two passages. One that through Francis Chan brought me out of my slump and my constant worry of my future. Sure there are times when I start to plan my perfect little life again. But it's not long before I stop and realize exactly who has the pen to my life and whom I trust to write the perfect "life"script for me.

As God is taking care of me, I came to a realization today that yes God is taking care of me. He will provide me with the food I need to eat and the clothes I need to keep me warm in the cold winter's that strike Duluth. But I never realized that maybe... just maybe when he says in John 14.18 "I will not leave you as orphans"; he may also be meaning his lost children. I know when my God was not deeply rooted in my life I felt like an orphan. I was constantly looking for a home and love that would fill every space in my heart. When he came to me I felt his welcoming arms.  As orphaned child in his huge world, I finally felt I was home.

And I was thinking when he says: "I will come to you." He is talking also about his people going out and spreading his love. We are all made in the image of God and have him living in our hearts. "...God's seed remains in him" {1 John3.9}
Going out into our communities and carrying with us the seed of Christ in love is number one. We can be the one's he sends out to take care of his orphans. Whether it be through giving of our time in volunteer work, through donating articles of clothing, or through prayer for people in need.

Our God is Love - 1 John 4.8
How blessed are we to have the seed of Love in our Hearts?

Calm in the storm...

That's what I'm doing. I'm searching for the calm in this crazy storm of life that I am once again a part of here in Duluth. So many things have changed over this summer that coming back to school I was nervous about being back with everyone who was use to how I interacted with people and the me that was here last May.

The truth is I'm not that girl. God has opened my heart to more things this summer than I ever really thought could be possible. The moment I walked into my apartment I went through my closet and sorted out clothes and shoes that I was going to donate. I don't want to be the old me who needs the materialistic things of this world. I was blessed in that I have the ability to afford things that I need and a few things that I want. I am so happy and feel joy in my heart when I am able to donate to people that are in need.

I am still nervous about all the changes that have taken place in my life. It's not that I fear I am making a mistake, but that it will be hard for me to not be accepted by people in my life because I share different beliefs or feelings towards things. I am a girl full of energy and I am wondering what they will think when I don't laugh at some of their jokes or I don't find entertainment in listening to disrespectful music.

One of the main reasons for this post is to just get it off my chest about how I'm feeling; Staying calm in the storm... Last year I over loaded my plate with things and activities to spice up my resume. I felt like I somehow gained respect from people if I was involved in many things on campus and I lived a busy life and was somehow able to handle myself and appear stress free.

Coming back to school really hit me hard as I know now that being in all the activities was not conducive to where I feel God leading me. But the truth of the matter is I made a commitment to hold office in clubs and to take part in both tennis and choir and be a leader in both. Right now through God's grace and mercy I am able to see that right now I am needing to cling to him. I made a choice and now we are going to get through it together. I feel that come December when things change up for the next semester I am going to clear my plate being God led. I have the oppurtunity now to interact with many people in these groups and once again hopefully shine through the love of Christ. Not to make myself look better but to make his love evident. It's amazing how God can take a life and turn it around at any given second.