Cleanse me Lord...

{fall is now officially here.}

it might just be the changing of the seasons that seems to really symbolize the change that is happening in my life. for many years I have always wanted to embark on the "set-apart" life, and finally it is happening.
It seems only crazy not to set apart my life for God when he died to give me mine 2000 years ago. Waking up each morning and longing to spend time with God in his word is something I have not grown use to. When ever I walk past my open Bible I just want to sit down and get lost in his word. I never believed people who said they daily spend time with God and in his word. I would always wonder what it felt like to have that longing and to actually enjoy the time spent reading and praying.

call me weird, call me crazy. 

this relationship that is growing between me and my savior feels very similar to the ones I have developed down here on earth with my other relationships. 

It started out slow... I spent about 30-45 mins in his word and praying a day.

then before I knew it, as a busy senior nursing student i was getting into bed at 9:00pm just to spend an hour with {jesus} my new "person" of interest. 

now i find myself planning to go to bed at 9:00pm and get up 1 hour earlier to spend time with him so that i can start my day out to a positive godly start.
it's going on 7 months of being single here, with no technical boyfriend. honestly my heart was never available to God to take control and for me to fall madly in love with. it wasn't until i chose him to be my final love interest that i realized how extravagant his love really is. 

i sat here reflecting today, praying my heart out for him to hear me and to speak to me, it wasn't until just now that i realized i was rushing things with my relationship with him. i am not grown enough to know the difference between his voice and my voice telling me what to do. 

with every day passing i am falling more and more in love with him. 

the longing of my heart is pointing towards him 

when i go out into this world i can sense where i have not lived the life he has dreamed up for me. 

it's a gentle pull at my heart when he pauses my life for a second so i can reflect. 

this time in my life, this season, is for change; for him to come into my heart and cleanse me of all my past mistakes and actions. he does it willingly and finally... i am giving my life to him {willingly}.

"search me oGod, and know my heart; 

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

see if there is any offensive way in me, 

and lead me in the way everlasting."

{psalm 39:23}