Quenching the Spirit

I started my day out running 6 miles and listening to Francis Chan's "The biggest lie of your life" sermon on Youtube.
Since it took me 1 hr to run the six miles I had a lot of time to really think about what he was talking about and reflect it back on my life.

This past Thursday I spoke at our schools FCA meeting. I talked about following God's will for your life.
It was not until today that I began to realize that part of following God's will for our lives is listening to the spirit when it calls us. And I realized I wasn't being 100% obedient to Christ and the Holy spirit.
I took a spiritual gifts assessment about a week ago. Given this spiritual make-over I have gone through it only made sense for me to re-examine my spirit and see perhaps where God would have blessed me with fruit to share. The results were that I was highest in Showing mercy, and tied for pastor/Shepard and serving.
I thought to myself... what?! Pastor/Shepard?

I was not surprised at all that I was highest in showing mercy. My major is nursing after all.  but Pastor/Shepard? That's like... leading people, like get up in front of groups of people to talk to them about God, talk to them about following the Bible. I don't do that. I am a side conversation, small group, share my faith to close friends type of person. But for me to be called to stand up in front of a group and speak to them about the love of God and what he commands us to do was something I would never claim for myself. 

If this was a white elephant gift exchange event you bet I would be the first one to try and switch out my "Pastor/Shepard" fruit of the spirit for someone else's "giving" spirit. 

As I was preparing for my little speech for FCA I was very nervous about saying the right thing, about having if "flow" correctly, and even about how long it would take me to do it!
When I was done speaking on Thursday night, I got a few compliments on my speech. It felt good to  have nice things said but it felt even better to be done with my speech. 

It was not until today, that I realized I had given my life up to God fully 3 months ago... I promise I would follow him where ever he leads me. I would accept his blessings with open arms and work at being a bountiful fruit of his spirit.

It was a rude awakening to realize that perhaps God has blessed me with the ability to actually be a leader.
I don't know where God is going with everything. Maybe me fully surrendering my life over to him and trusting him to fully guide me in this life will give stength to others to pick up their cross and follow Jesus whole heartedly.

I will willingly stand before believers and admit my mistakes and share Gods true mercy and grace with them. We are all in this together as a body of Christ. I know God has the ability to use my mistakes to help other people and give them hope or understanding in a situation. 

Life's Study Session

The absolute truth of the Bible:
So many of us read the Bible daily. We read it for 10 or 15 mins at a time and think about the passages for about 30 mins and then we move on with our day. We cry out to God and question him when he does not answer. We take control of our crazy lives just to realize that we are stressed beyond belief and have no idea where to go.
Why is it that when we read the Bible we read it as if we are reading any other textbook at our college?
Are we taking it for full face value? Do you know who wrote the book?
Think about it this way.
I am in a class... there is no textbook, and a lot of our class sessions start out with "What do you think about this or that?"
Our instructor will write all our classes answers on the board. For a term as simple as "leader" we have 10 different definitions on the board. Then the instructor moves on to the next question.
It's not until the  night before the exam when I am cramming, do I realize we never got a definitive answer to the questions. I was sitting there with 10 words that may or may not be the words she is looking for on the test to define her definition of leadership. We were too busy creating our own definitions that we didn't realize that we didn't have the most important answer... our instructors.
See I feel this is a great illustration because I really feel God leading me to talk about the importance of the Bible and the impact that we are currently letting it have on our lives.
When we die we will all stand before God. What will be running through your head when you see him face to face?

God has given us the Bible. A book written by him, for us to get through this life. It holds many key verses such as verses:
 to get through struggles Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your god. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
to be with us through joyous occasions: 1 Peter 1:8 - though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory.

Where are we, if we as a society start deciding how to interpret the Bible against what the Bible already says? We can go around all day creating our own definition to all the sins in the book.
But think about it... what ultimately matters? What we have to say? what we have defined for ourselves?
Or is what matters most what our instructor, our heavenly father above has defined as the true answer to our questions?
Whose giving the test?
Whose the student?
We are all accountable for our studying time in classes and it's not different for when we are called home. We are accountable for all the times we could have studied his word, and spent time with him, but chose to live out our own definitions of a great life.
His Bible is our manual to Life, the life he had originally planned for all of us long before the fall at the Garden of Eden.
So when you are reading the Bible think of it as God's guide to our lives. Think of it as a place where you can run to for understanding in situations where the world doesn't view things the same way as you. The Bible should be our foundation not simply a rough draft of how to live our lives.  If you base your life off of the bible

I want to challenge you to live your lives truly believing everything the Bible has to say.
Go out there, take the first step. It can be unbelievable scary, but cling to God. In the end remember he always has the right answer.
Let's study for the biggest test of our lives, and live out his word in a practical way!

For the LORD God is a sun and shield the LORD will give grace and glory. no good think will he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O LORD of hosts, blessed is the man who trusts in you.
{Psalm 84: 11-12}

[Obedience]

Complete obedience
I sit here and I listen to the words in Chris Tomlin's song "Majesty of Heaven"
He is majesty, he will reign forever.
He's the one I am following. As I find myself once again in a time of loneliness and not knowing what the future holds, I know where I can find my peace.
My stomach is in knots, my heart is racing and it's been this way for a few hours. I can't seem to get deep enough breaths.
I'm dying to myself, I'm living for him.
I have to keep reminding myself what life is all about. That the way i have previously set my goals in life is different now. I'm scared. I want to grab onto anything that is going to give me support in this storm of life. Through this season of change and pruning from the lord. He is ridding me of anything and everything that has come in between his love for me.

Today I deactivated my Facebook account. I know God was calling me to let go of that "idol" in my life as I have spent too much time worrying about what I was posting, and how I was being displayed on Facebook. I don't feel like I i am keeping myself set-apart for God when I share details of my life with everyone. I need time to step back, and focus on God. Redirect my addiction of checking my Facebook notifications towards God and answering him when he calls me.
I'm different now, I felt Facebook would never fully share with the world how my heart is different, how I've changed. And so I'm starting new.

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart" 

- Jeremiah 29:13 - 

God is being nothing but gentle. I'm blessed that he knows exactly what I can  handle and what I can't. For now I am content with not trying to grab onto something or someone down here who can physically comfort me. Instead i'm turning to him.
I feel blessed that I have come to that time in my life where I am finally looking at being independent and living my life solely for Christ. Being true to him and my promise to be his bride. Content in his love, content in listening to him for guidance.

My Reality

"But Megan, is that realistic?"
....
The thing is when I heard that I didn't think of  it as the world views that statement.
I viewed it as the way my heavenly father would view that statement. I believe with a statement like that he would chuckle and say... "there is no realistic for me. I am in the business of doing the impossible."
 I'm not here to think that for a second my life will be "realistic". My hopes and my dreams are placed in my heart by God. There has never been a single individual or soul duplicated in the world before. Everyone is unique in their own way because our God is a creative God.
I long to live my life according to the Bible and follow God where ever he may lead me. Even when sometimes I hear the silence instead of his spoken words.
You see I feel like God has made a promise to me. I'm not going to get into details but there have been many times in which I could have caved in my own desires. i could have begun pursing the things here on earth that I had fully given over to God.  I would have snatched the control right back out of his hands and attempted to do things my own way again.
If i would have caved in a moment of temporary feelings I know I wouldn't be where I am today. To know that my life is in the hands of a God who controls the whole universe gives me a sense of peace. To me it seems to be only logical to trust God with everything, as he is the true controller of everything. It doesn't matter what my view on anything is, his will will win every time.
So for me to live my life and look at terms as realistic and unrealistic i think that's unfair. I believe with the power of prayer from a faithful heart God can and will do miracles.

I know my  dreams are planted in my heart (realistic or not to this world), and my God sees them. They are very real to him, and one day his plans will be revealed. Even if his plans don't pan out as i would have hoped it was still realistic to me because I have a real powerful God.

 "Trust in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart" Psalm 37.4